The Good Guy

Scene: A nearby larger town’s bustling coffee shop three weeks after Ned’s confrontation.

“Hey Ned,” I yelled trying to get his attention, “over here.”

“Sorry”, Ned said, “I didn’t hear you. I’ve got a lot of things on my mind.”

“I bet. I heard about what happened with you and Bud, must have been a long night for you and that woman trapped up there in the big storm.” I said as I motioned towards a couple just getting up to leave.

“You could say that.”

“What exactly were you thinking when you realized that that woman had consented to going up there with Bud?” I asked sitting down opposite him at the secluded corner table.

“I guess, from the moment I saw Jordy I knew she was the right woman for me. I knew the kind of scum that Bud was and because Jordy seemed so perfect, I thought that there would be no way in her right mind that she would consent to heading up to Bud’s cabin alone if she knew the real truth about him.”

“I heard that Jordy testified at your hearing for Bud’s murder and not exactly in your favor.”

“Apparently she sees me as the ‘bad guy’ in the situation. I’m not really sure how she came to believe this but to her, Bud was the victim. You know Bud. You know how he is, with his lies and smooth talking and the way he blames all of his life problems on everyone but him. I still cannot bring myself to understand exactly how I am the ‘bad guy’. I tried explaining to her my reasoning after I had shot Bud.
He reached for the gun first and I had to protect her. God knows what he might have done to her after he realized I was about to reveal to her his real identity. The whole time after she just stood there shivering and shrinking away from me in the corner. I keep trying to contact her to get her to listen to me but she apparently has disconnected her phone lines.”

“Do you think you’re going a little overboard here? I mean you had what, about three conversations with her before you raced up to Bud’s cottage declaring your unending devotion? Do you think that the remoteness of your teensy town has left you a little too lonely and desperate?” I asked a tad frightened that I had overstepped my boundaries.

“Yes, the dark, long nights are hard to bare and I have been looking for a companion but I know that Jordy is the right person for me. You have got to believe me. I had to kill Bud. I know what he would have done if he had reached the gun first. I wouldn’t be here talking to you right now. He would have reasoned his way out punishment for my murder and convinced Jordy to stay with him secluded in his cabin. Then it would have been too late to protect her from his moral turpitude. I just couldn’t have let that happen to a girl like Jordy.”


“Bud was a rough character,” I said, rethinking my own interactions with the man, “but do you really think he was as conniving as you make him out to be?”

“Listen, maybe you don’t know about Bud the way I do but he was not a good person. He didn’t deserve Jordy. He lies. He steals. He cheats. Maybe I’m biased, but what on earth could he offer her that I couldn’t? I work hard and am truly interested in providing a good life for her. We seemed to have a real connection. It should be so simple. Jordy should be mine. I should have found a way to win her in that auction. In fact, Bud even lied about that money. He probably stole it all from some old lady. After all, he did just get out of prison.” Ned ranted, an angry flush already beginning to appear at his collar.

“Ya but if Jordy was such a good person and she saw something she liked in Bud, doesn’t that prove that he is a little better than you say he is?” I reasoned, thinking it through as I lifted my steaming coffee mug to warm my hands.

“The simple and plain fact is that I knew Bud and his true personality. Jordy didn’t. She’s got things all wrong. I still can’t get that image out of my head: her horrified face as she watched me take control of the situation and fend for her life and my own against Bud. I have to make her see that I am the ‘good guy’", he said quietly, by now lost in his own thoughts, gazing out the window at the white flakes already beginning to gather.

Madeline Hinkamp

Interpretive Questions about "She Wasn't Soft"

1. Did Jason mean to give the drugged drink to Paula?
2. Do you think Paula was obsessed with racing and defeating Zinny Bauer and in effect ruined her relationship with Jason?
3. Did Paula really love Jason? If not, why was she even going out with him then? She obviously spent much of her time training, so why deal with a boyfriend she does not love?
4. Did Jason need Paula more than Paula needed him?
5. What message do you think Boyle was conveying through this story? Why did he write it?
6. Why did Jason give the drugged drink to Paula? What was his motive?
7. Was this a story about a relationship and the separate individuals or a story about grace? If grace, then what were the moments of grace and who experienced grace?
8. Do you think Jason's intentions when confronting Zinny with Paula at the restaurant were good or bad?
9. Do you think Jason is a selfish character and is only in this relationship with Paula for selfish reasons?
10. Are you glad Paula was drugged and therefore, lost the race? Did she get what she deserved?

Letter to Jason from She Wasn't Soft (Creative Response C)

Dear Jason,

You are truly one of the most interesting people I have ever heard about. You seem to be a person, who has good intentions and a lot of love, but you misplace this love so much, and it is your errors which make you realize who you love and what you love about them. What triggers your indiscretions? Is it purely just weakness to lust that led you to rape Paula? Is it this rape which makes you see that you truly love Paula for who she is? This is what it seems it is to me as someone who has heard your story. Her drive is what really seems to attract you to her, is this why you gave her the cup of Gatorade with the Tuinal caps in it, when you realized that she was not Zinny Bauer? I think that you did this because you thought that Paula would lose her drive, the thing you loved so much about her, and that why you wanted her to fail. Is this true? You don’t seem as if you are greatly spiteful so I do not think that you really did this out of anger because you were so distraught after you raped her. However, I think that however good your intentions may be, your decisions to carry out certain actions is really troubling. You do not recognize the gravity of certain issues, so I suggest that you execute things after more forethought from now on. You seem to really care about Paula, and that is why you confront Zinny Bauer and try to drug her, however, you seem really conflicted with the way you love Paula, as if she were just an idealized woman who has the drive which you lack. She is also a real person who needs to be shown for sure that you love her, not in these twisted ways, which involve drugging people or picking fights. She is strong, but I do not know how much longer she can endure you, who has caused her so much pain. My advice to you is to really look at your life, and assess what your life amounts to without Paula, which is not much. You need her more than she needs you, sure she could be less selfish, but you must learn perseverance, and become driven. Find direction in your life, reflect and tame your instincts. You are a good guy who just does not reflect enough on situations. I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor to find out more about whom you really are, and how much you need Paula, and how you should love and respect her properly.
Sincerely,
Mike Verity

She Wasn't Soft

In T.C. Boyle’s story She Wasn’t Soft, he explains how dedicated Paula is. She takes her training for this mini triathlon to heart. Paula realizes this race in its self is not a huge race, however, Zinny Bauer was going to be competing in this race also. Zinny had beat Paul last year and this year Paula wanted to beat her more than anything. Paula’s boy friend, in the story, only serves as a distraction.
In my picture I drew Paula sitting over looking a little creek in her athletic clothes and gym shoes. I wanted to convey a sense of peace. When you’re training for an important race like Paula does, sometimes everything can become so overwhelming. Through out the whole story I found my self wanting Paula to take a break, step away from all the crazy intense training, step away from her boyfriend, and most importantly Zinny.

Two Disillusioned Characters

T.C. Boyle’s character Jason in his story ‘She Wasn’t Soft” is shockingly similar to his character Rick in “Killing Babies”. Both characters go through an emotional transition. They begin the story disillusioned with their lives and both seem become lost when focusing on their reality. Jason does not wish for anything better for himself than he is, but lives his life drinking, smoking, watching sports, and hanging out with his surfer buddies. In other words, he lives a pretty shallow life. Rick is a little more reflective of his life but not much and his series of rehab stints are most likely the cause of this. He too, drinks and does drugs, never questioning his level of involvement in his own life. As the stories progress, both characters begin to question the actions of those around them. Jason thinks more and more about Paula, his girlfriend who is an extreme competitor and happens to be training for a marathon. Rick ponders over a brief encounter with Sally, a lost pregnant sixteen year old with a domineering mother. He also remains pensive about the protesters that stand outside his brother’s pregnancy clinic, where he now works. Jason and Rick remain mostly selfish throughout their stories. Jason only thinks of his own wants and needs. His tactless decision to get drunk the night before Paula’s race eventually leads him to rape his own girlfriend. Rick is a little better about not thinking so much about himself, but it is evident that he is not as thankful as he could be to his brother and his family for taking him in. The end of each story offers the biggest upsets in terms of rooting for the characters to succeed. Jason ends up drugging his girlfriend by offering her a cup of water a few feet in front of her finish line. Rick shoots at least three of the protesters in an upheaval outside the clinic. Both instances leave readers wondering how characters that perhaps seemed dim-witted and even a little mean could commit such heinous crimes. It is clear that both characters’ struggles were too powerful for them to overcome. Both Jason and Rick seemed to be suffering from uncontrollable inner-demons that surpassed their reasoning. -Madeline Hinkamp

As the Title Implies

Readers expecting the title of T.C. Boyle’s short story “Baby Killers” to be in any way incongruous with the mood of the story will surely be disappointed. Boyle’s storyline is as eerie as its title implies. Rick, a recently-released-from-rehab drug addict has been getting in trouble with the law for pretty much his entire life. His ultimate foil is his brother Philip, an uptight doctor who grudgingly allows Rick to stay with him and his family following his release. Although the dreary Detroit atmosphere described in the first few pages creates a dismal image on its own, Rick’s first day at work with Philip generates a bona fide creepiness that never seems to leave “Baby Killers”. In fact Rick’s first words concerning his new job are, “Liar, thief, crackhead- those were names I’d answered to at one time or another. Murderer was something else.” These bizarre thoughts are in effect to the sinister protesters who stand outside his brother’s abortion clinic roughly 24/7. “Baby Killers”, “Nazis”, they shout as if they were proclaiming the words of Jesus Christ himself. In the midst of this chaos, Rick becomes
fascinated with Sally, a heartrending, frightened, and lonely girl who visits the clinic a few times practically held hostage by her I-mean-business mother. It is clear that Rick identifies with those same emotions Sally so blatantly reveals. Sally seems to offer Rick a little grace in his dreary and motionless life. Boyle’s descriptive details offer important images to the reader, greatly enhancing his message. For example, it is apparent that there are certain bigoted fundamentalists who feel the need to force their views on others. Boyle however, takes his descriptions of the protesters to a more extreme level. Describing a particularly repugnant man, he states, “In all that chaos he just stood there rigid at the bumper of the car, giving me a big rich phony Jesus- loving smile that was as full of hate as anything I’d ever seen, and then he ducked down on one knee and handcuffed himself to the bumper”. The reader realizes exactly what Rick was dealing with and it is far easier to feel how Rick himself if feeling. The graphic descriptions and sense of eeriness harkens back to Boyle’s short story “Chicxuclub”. In both stories Boyle unleashes a sense of dread, shock, and sympathy that combine into confusion concerning what Boyle was really trying to say. Each character is described as almost as equally guilty as the next. In fact, the last actions of “Baby Killers” place Rick on the same playing field as the allegations directed towards him in the first place by the protesters. As such, readers might find themselves experiencing a little bit of that same sense of guilt.

This is a map of the path the main character, Rick, travels along throughout the story "Killing Babies".

This is a picture depicting the moment Rick loses control and experiences a kind of "conversion." He sees the protesters cause Sally to turn away from the clinic and this angers him. He is about to go out into the mob with full concentration on Sally and attempt to help her.

Author's Corner: Interview with T.C. Boyle

T.C. Boyle’s “Killing Babies” By: Mike Verity


T.C. Boyle has published 11 novels and over 60 short stories since the late 1970’s, and is the winner of the PEN/Faulkner Award in 1988 for his novel World’s End. He has been a professor of English at the University of Southern California since 1986. We at windows-to–the-soul.blogspot.com invited Mr. Boyle to an interview regarding his short story “Killing Babies”.

Verity: Welcome Mr. Boyle, it is a privilege to speak with a distinguished writer such as yourself.
Boyle: It’s good to be here, so I know I’m here to answer questions regarding my short story, “Killing Babies”. Good ahead and ask away about the story, it personally is one of my favorites.
V: You have some really interesting stories Mr. Boyle, such as “Chicxulub”, but “Killing Babies” is really quite and interesting story regarding abortion through the eyes of a recovering drug addict. What issue surrounding the battle of pro-choice vs. pro-life were you trying to address?
B: I was trying to bring up questions of whether there is a double- standard on each side of the abortion debate, as far as some pro-life activists murdering abortion clinic doctors as opposed to a pro-choice activist murdering a pro-life activist. I wanted to get people thinking of who may be portrayed as a villain more.
V: It really get me to think those things exactly, you’re quite good with getting your audience to think you know. How is the character, Rick supposed to be perceived, since he seems to make improvements in his life, then goes on to murder a bunch of people?
B: I don’t like to dictate what my characters are to my readers, however, Rick is very interesting. Doesn’t he really become a better person overall though? After all he really has no purpose in life, before he meets Sally, and he takes up the pro-choice advocacy. Overall though Rick cannot handle the pressures of a purpose driven life, and so he collapses under this weight.
V: Wow you’re a very insightful guy.
B: What can I say, I try.
V: Speaking of Sally what role does she play, is she a source of grace to Rick?
B: I personally think so, she is the driving force behind his life, at this point, and he sees her confront her problems with her pregnancy, while he is unable to step up and face his demons with drugs.
V: Mr. Boyle it has been great talking with you and you’re story “Killing Babies” was quite interesting and thought provoking, I cannot wait to talk to you again.
B: Thanks, I’ve enjoyed being, here and talking about what I think is one of my more interesting works.